Thursday, November 19, 2009

Leggo My Eggo...Or Just Keep Pulling On It.

So, strolling around the internet today I found that the world is suffering from an Eggo famine (thanks to the Bloggess). I guess Eggo shortage would be a more proper (properer?)-we'll just say more rightlikesounding-term, because as far as I know waffles are not grown on trees. At least not yet. The point is that our waffle supply is dangerously low. So low, that there are actual national news stories about it. Apparently some floods and equipment problems in Atlanta have caused Kellogg's to come up short on Eggo waffles, and Kellogg's will be rationing them to grocery stores until mid-2010.

"What does this have to do with a porn blog?" many of you might ask. Well . . . go ahead . . . ask the question . . . I'll wait.

Have you asked it? I guess an unpublished blog is not the place to have a discussion with people.

The point is, I know how easy it is to find pr0n regarding all sorts of childhood memories like Scooby Doo, or Sonic the Hedgehog, but what about Eggo waffles? Every child remembers drowning Eggos in syrup . . . unless they had diabetes. Then they just wished that they had Eggos drowned in syrup instead of a broken pancreas. The point being, everyone has fond memories of Eggos, unless you're a monster of some sort, like a communist, or a republican. I forget which one we're supposed to hate nowadays. Whatever, Eggos are great and wholesome. This might be a challenge.

I was wrong, it took me less than 60 seconds to find this:

It's a cartoon from Morning Squirtz called Breakfast in Bed. This makes me sad . . . and hungry . . . and now a little disgusted.

If that isn't hardcore enough for you there is also this:

It's a cap of a Weebl's Stuff flash animation Waffles, in which two waffles do it doggy style. Because yeah, that's a good idea.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Actual Obama Porn

For my first post I was going to do something related to the holidays, like turkey porn, or cooking thanksgiving dinner porn, but then I came across Obama Unicorn porn. I shit you not. Here are some examples:

Obama gets an oily back rub from what is apparently an americorn.

Obama and his americorn rastle a bar (it's wrestle a bear said in the style of people who would like this painting).

Obama and his americorn take out what is apparently Sarah Palin's retarded moose. I don't know if this is a commentary on Trig Palin, also Sarah might have a penis.

Obama stares at the ginormous crack of Rush Limbaugh, who is apparently a zeppelin of some sort.

These paintings are the work of artist Dan Lacey, and are extremely strange. More of Lacey's work can be found here and often involve pancakes. Some would argue that this is artistic social commentary, and not porn. I direct those people to the first image. I also direct them to the fact that the Teletubbies were not intended as porn, but then this happened.

I subscribe to the Justice Stewart definition of porn in that I know it when I see it. While I am relatively sure that Lacey did not intend porn, that does not mean he did not create porn. Good job, Dan.